When you are a little boy.......

I rarely blog about my kids, but this is cute.

My son( who's 7) and I took a long walk yesterday. He said to me, "If I were a girl for a day, I would wish I'd turn back into a boy the next day"!

I think that's cute.

Jennifer's got her running shoes on..........

Jennifer Wilbanks, the Runaway bride, says that she's no longer getting married. A Question. Why didn't you say that in the first place?? Her ex-fiance John Mason seems to have run into some good luck. I just hope he steers clear of his runaway bride. Best gift for Jennifer when she finally gets married? A few therapy sessions and a tracker to place somewhere on her body.


One of these days she may be the runaway wife or runaway Mom. That chick has her running shoes on. My favorite quote from the People magazine article. Jennifer said, " John and I have some things to work out"

I've got news for Jennifer. If you can't "work things out" after a year, maybe you shouldn't try. Try dating for a few years. Seek help.

Have a great day and remember--tomorrow is horrible neighbor day. I've got another story about Billy Bob. His "friend" hauled away our old fence yesterday. It was a fun day of waiting, beer, and Billy Bob taking our trash to his house. Yay!

What's in your steak?

I heard this story from a friend, and I just HAD to share. This is a true story which happened in Tennessee, at a Steakhouse.

A woman ordered a steak. Upon receiving her steak, it wasn't cooked right. So, she sent it back. ( you know where I'm going). The waiter brought it back again, and she ate it this time. Once she got home, she got violently ill. She had saved a portion of that steak, and sent it out to a lab.

Turns out, her steak had 7 different dna's in it. My friend didn't know if it was semen, spit, etc. Turns out, the woman sued the restaurant, they closed it down, and I imagine she got some money out of it.

Bottom line: careful where you eat, try not to send anything back!!!!
Have a great weekend!

What would you rather have?

One of my magazines said women want a man with a sense of humor over looks. My question is.................. Would you want a funny, ugly man or a hot guy who's dumb as a rock? I'd say I'd take the hot guy for a few years, but I don't think I could take the ugly man for long.

Which would you prefer an ugly woman or man with a great sense of humor or a stunning woman, great body, airhead or a hot hunk with no brains????

Today is horrible neighbor day!

Today is Tuesday, horrible neighbor day. Billy Bob is at it again. Always poking his nose into everyone else's business. Last week, when my sons and husband were tearing down our old fence, Billy Bob came over to be nosey. First, he said he wanted some of the old, discolored sections of fence. no problem. Now, the new fence is up, and over the weekend Billy Bob ran over like a kid coming to a candy store.

He says, " I know someone that can haul it away real cheap". My husband said he has a man who hauls trash away. " This guy can do it cheaper" says Billy Bob. then, my husband says, "How do you know?" Long story short, Billy Bob got out his trusty nextel and called a friend of his. They were chatting, and Billy Bob says to my husband ( this was at 1:00 p.m.) so -and- so can haul that away cheap. He has to go to K Mart, then he'll be right over.

2 o'clock came, then 3. Then, we left, we had errands to run. These hillbillies tell you things, and must forget they tell you. Well, now it's 2 days later, and we haven't seen anyone. We're just going to have the usual guy haul the old fence, posts, away.

Last night, on a school night at that, Billy Bob was in rare form. He had been drinking, that was obvious to hear him chatter away......... It was about 11:00 p.m. , I felt like I was in a trailer park. Billy Bob, his teenage kids, and a few buddies were out on the front porch making spectacles of themselves.

They were yelling at cars going by, acting obnoxious as usual. Just when you think they are civilized, out comes the bad behavior again. It was a nice night, and we had the windows open. Screw the city......I'm ready to have a house out on 5 acres of land, and brave the ticks, and possible boredom. I know I'm not the only one with a neighbor like him, but I was taught manners. Go out back if you want to be loud. I feel sorry for his neighbor, I'll call her Miss Ellen. She's an older woman who can't wait until they find another place to rent. Preferably a trailer park. This neighbor has been a nuisance now for over a year.

His latest act to my next door neighbor with her very large yard was to leave a few beer cans on her lawn. This man just sticks out like a sore thumb. I thought about it last night, and if they move, our little block will be peaceful again. Sign> Do YOU have terrible neighbors?

kids are bored, with nothing to do!

In Arkansas, Is anyone surprised? What the hell is there to do.........a group of kids put laxatives in their teacher's tea. Shame. Shame. I say let their punishment be to drink coca cola with lots of laxatives and see how it feels. So, in Arkansas, when they are not busy knocking all the underage teenage girls up, they are thinking up things to do on a rainy afternoon. Our senior prank was chopping down about 4 trees on school grounds ( about 4 boys were involved, I knew nothing about it). The boys parents had to fork up the cost of those trees. What was YOUR senior prank? Iced Tea And No Sympathy - May 10, 2006 The smoking gun rocks.

sounds Yummy!

At last, this ethnic restaurant near me had a dish named after my husband: Jerk Chicken. Ha! I found a nice restaurant for myself and my family to go to on Mother's day. It's a seafood restaurant and also a Landmark, with a lot of history. The Main building was built in the 1800's and it's rumored to have it's own "ghost". Happy Mothers Day to all the Mom's.....and Don't forget your mom this mothers day. Chow!

Star Jones: woman of mystery

There's a rumor going around that Star Jones will be leaving the view. Is it because the obnoxious Rosie O'Donnell is joining the cast in September? Her fued with Joy, which I missed btw. Enquiry minds wanna know. I want to know......... How did she lose all that weight? ( i dont care, but i think i know she had gastric bypass because of that full round face of hers) Is her husband gay? Hmmmmmmmm. We'll let her keep denying it. Hey--maybe he's metrosexual ( cough, cough) She didn't want to be alone--so she married a man. leave the poor woman alone. You know what a scare she had after her breast surgery. Well, I wish Star well. Good luck with her marriage, and most of all....keeping her weight off. Even though you have gastric by-pass ( which may or may not be true), you can still gain weight. Look at Roseanne. I do believe she had either a stomach stapling or gastric by pass. Same with Carnie Wilson. Do YOU watch the view?

Wednesday is.....how Masculine is that?

The world has a shortage of masculine men. Overheard from a baseball coach: ( on soccer field, talking to his 6 yr old just before the boy's game)


" Don't get dirty Elliott" ?! He's going to get dirty anyway Dad. Where are all the masculine men?

Tuesday is Horrible neighbor day!

Pesky neighbors! Almost everyone has them, and I'm no different. My husband is a contractor, so he got the guys together and today we are having our stockade fence replaced. On Sunday night, my husband and sons were out there tearing the old fence down when who should come over and start yapping?

Billy Bob!

He wants to know if he can have our old fence. My husband said sure.....but our old fence is falling apart and is 15 yrs old. Billy Bob said, " now I can have me a stockade fence". What did i do to deserve a neighbor like this? First of all, Billy Bob is now allowed to put up a stockade fence without a permit. We had to get one from the city.

Second, Billy Bob is a renter. I think the homeowner would have to get the permit for him. Billy Bob was so confused. At first he asked if we were replacing our driveway. ! Then he said something really amusing. He wants to come to one of my husband's baseball practices and talk to the kids about the danger of drugs/alcohol. This is a man who still drinks quite a bit. Maybe he's given up drugs, but he has heart problems, and I just saw him staggering around on Saturday night, i think. The parents would flip.

The "kids" are 15, and 16. I think they could tell that Billy Bob has problems the moment he started speaking. Who wants to hear from an alcoholic the dangers of drinking or using drugs? That's like Don Delouise telling you not to eat ho ho's.

Tomorrow is horrible neighbor day

and have I got a story for you. It seems Billy Bob is like Fred Sanford, always thinking one man's trash is another man's treasure. Tune in tomorrow when I tell you all about Billy Bob and how he'll probably be in trouble with our city inspector! Today is a cloudy and dreary day in Annapolis. Who stole the sun? One movie you can miss: The Order with Heath Ledger. If I want to see a priest fall in love with a woman, I'd like for it to be a porno thank you. Heath is great in some movies, but the Order was just a big snoozefest. Zzzzzzzzzz. Now i'm about to watch a movie in a few about 8 women, and that's what it's called: 8 women. A man dies and 8 women are suspect. Who's on their period? Because we get awful cranky. !

Who wears short shorts?

Overheard on the baseball field:

Coach A is slim, 50, and always wears short, tight shorts. Coach B is the headcoach, and I just gave him the name Coach B for this entry. Coach C is a real comedian.
Coach A was umpiring behind the plate. The catcher was missing balls, so Coach B suggested that Coach A keep a baseball in his pocket.

Coach C pipes up and says, " Hell, he can't even get his hands in those pockets his shorts are so tight, he's not going to be able to fit a ball".

You just have to know Coach A, and the fact he's always worn what my son calls " booty shorts"

btw Coach A did fit that ball in his pockets, but i'm sure it was uncomfortable.


A fatass says he's too fat for jail. He's over 500 lbs and wants " home confinement" he could actually get up out of the chair/bed?

read link: Savvy.com Men's Lifestyle Portal - Man Argues He's Too Overweight for Jail

and for Scubes, who left me a comment about the Super size guy........if you want to gain weight, just eat a lot and don't exercise. But, I would not recommend McDonalds, this guy has gained weight and is becoming unhealthy.
I'm going to try to finish the movie today. I have it tivo'd. Most of it is interesting, but there is a lot of boring commentary thrown in.

Have a great day, and come back often.

Getting your rations ready.

There's talk of another attack of 9/11 proportion looming. At First, after 9/11.....I was very concerned. I still am. But not to the point i'm going to let it effect my life. Message to Govt. PAY ATTENTION. There were warning signs before, and there will be again. I say shut down the borders. No one else gets in. How many more countries could they possibly visit besides the U.S.? It makes me sick to think of all the foreigners who came over the the U.S. and learned to fly planes from Americans, or whoever taught them over here. Let me work at customs, most would be turned away. Let me work security at the airports. These people who get searched shouldn't feel violated. It's our right to search you. If you have nothing on you, no weapons, you should not be concerned. I say--watch everyone closely. I read the various reports on what was uncovered and ignored before 9/11 and I was shocked. Our borders, in my opinion, are not as secure as they should be. Perhaps if we had naked women parading around at the airports in the U.S., the middle easterners would turn back around. If you are a family, that's fine. I just object to anyone coming here to do any type of harm. We're too nice of a country. I think we should insert tags under the skin where we can keep track of all the visitors who come to our country. It's just a thought.

Supersize my Ass!

lol. I was watching the movie " Supersize Me" about the director who eats only McDonalds for 30 days. I have not finished watching it, but they talked about the lawyer who is helping two teenagers/ or helped two teenagers sue McDonalds. They say McDonalds made them fat. I say they know how fattening McDonalds is. STOP EATING THERE. If you have a good metabolism, like my son, who is 15, 5'11 1/2 and 145 lbs.......you can eat anything. Once you start to get a roll around your middle.....STOP EATING THERE. Anyone with half a brain knows how fattening McDonalds is. Try eating healthy for about a week, then go to McDonalds. It will make you sick. There are too many frivolous lawsuits and that is definately another.

I have not read that yet!

I have to admit, I'm a hoarder. Clutter, clutter. The toy is too cute to throw away, I have not read that magazine or newspaper yet. That's why I always like going away, and staying in hotels. It's free of clutter. Let's face it, most hotels aren't spotless, but they have nothing but a bed, couch, few dressers and maybe a kitchenette. I look around my home, and see 2 or 3 of everything, lots of u gi o, however you spell that cards from my 7 yr old. They used to be the 15 yr olds. Sometimes you want a dumpster to back up to your house, and throw everything in. Guess what? we tried that! I'm going to take a trash bag down to my rec room and start tossing things. There should only be the couch, end tables, TV, loveseat, etc. Everything else can go.......and get put in another room! It doesn't help that i live with 4 males who pick up nothing. <> Do you want to know what I found under my bed this morning? a crumpled up McDonalds bag from my 15 yr old that had a piece of his breakfast sandwich still in it. Calgon--take me away............

Today is horrible neighbor day!

I know by now some of you are thinking.....Where the hell does this woman live? Im in an Annapolis suburb, with a lot of different kinds of ppl. We have families, young people, old people, crazy people, redneck people--you name it. Today's horrible neighbor story is about my neighbor Alex ( not his real name). Alex had a wife and two children, plus a step daughter. His wife and daughters are now down south. Near Georgia. And I'll tell you why. This is coming from a close friend of Alex's wife. It seems Alex had been having a 7 yr affair with another woman. ooooooooooo. Alex and his wife have been married 15 years. Not only was Alex unfaithful with the other woman, he was also cheating with prostitutes. One night, Alex's wife got a call from District of Columbia (Washington D.C.) police. They told her to come to a certain station, and bring Alex a change of clothes. When she got there, she found out he'd been arrested for being with a prostitute ( someone help me out--she was soliciting--he was buying) anyway, poor Alex lost his clothes. A few months later, his wife and daughters moved out. Now poor Alex is trying to fix up his house, and rent it out. It seems the adulterer did not have permits, and our city inspectors put a stop work order on his door. Poor Alex. not only will he have to eat the cost of his mortgage, but he will probably end up with an STD. You just never know. Do YOU have a horrible neighbor story???????

New Waiter..........PLEASE.

I thought of the blog I have on my blogroll " Waiter Rant" except this time, I was the customer, my waiter was a skinny, possibly drug user, and an airhead. We start off with him forgetting the water. Then my husband asked for rum and tonic, he brings Gin and tonic.

He seems nervous, jittery. Things go well until i ask for another diet coke. He says ok that will be another Dr. Pepper. Dr . Pepper? I have not drank a Dr. Pepper since I was 14. I say, "no, diet coke". sure enough, he brings me a Dr. Pepper. I tell him when he comes back, " I wanted a Diet coke". So, again he leaves and comes back with another drink. It's a Dr. Pepper again.

This time I'm laughing. I finally did get my diet coke, and we left him a 20% tip, but I think he needs help. I don't know if he was just extremely ADHD or he was on something.

At first I thought he was cute, but after his forgetfulness, I changed my mind. I know today is horrible neighbor day, I promise a juicy story later, one that includes infidelity, getting caught with your pants down by the police, and A stop work order on the house someone is trying to fix up to rent out.

Whew.

I want a burger with ketchup, mustard and no flesh!

It seems at TGI Friday's one customer got a little more on his burger than he wanted. GROSS. Read this and see if you can go to Friday's anymore. Well, you could rationalize it by saying This happened in Indiana. I live in Maryland. On the page, they ask if you've ever found anything in your food. Years ago, my husband was eating a pudding from " The Hot Shoppe" Cafeteria, when he found a large piece of glass. Scary. Has anything ever been in your food that's strange? AOL News - TGI Friday's Diner Gets Piece of Finger on Burger

Quiz: What European City do YOU belong in?

stolen. from another blog.

Blogthings - What European City Do You Belong In?

I belong in: Dublin.

my take on immigration

I'm reading things such as.......without immigrants, this country would collapse. Someone is thinking too highly of themselves. Back when i was growing up in the 1970's, we did not have as many immigrants/ mexican, el Salvadorians, Columbians as we do now. Pedro came over, liked it, and sent for 50 of his family to come to. I have no problem with someone coming over here and obtaining citizenship. But learn to speak English. English is the primary language. I DO have a problem with immigrants receiving free Education because there are many young people here in the U.S. who want to go to college, and can't afford it. We need to take care of our own first. The immigrants need to understand that we live a certain way here in the U.S. They are visitors, and they have not been here as long. You can't just go to a country, then try to change the laws/way they live. We are overpopulated. And yes, it's expensive to live in some parts of our country. This does not mean you can have 20 people living in a 3 bedroom house. Not only is this a fire-hazard, but how can you live comfortably? In some affluent areas near me, they have these situations, and the family has 25 cars around the property, and causes Chaos for their neighbors. Have some respect for the U.S., and don't tell us that you are the backbone of the Unites States, because before you came in droves--we survived. Do you know how hard it is for us to go to Businesses in our community, and have people working for that business that do not speak english?

That's like any American going to Mexico and refusing to learn spanish, and trying to get a job without learning spanish. Quit whining, if you dont' like it here LEAVE.

She found love on Match.com?

This is yet another one of my stories. It's about a friend of a friend. I'll call her Monica. Monica is an attractive 42 yr old. About 5 yrs ago, Monica tried online dating, with disastrous results. She met a businessman from Colorado. He seemed perfectly normal at first. They chatted on the phone for 6 months, then Monica went to visit him. The first night she too much to drink, and ended embarrassing her businessman. After they got back to his place, he literally beat her up. She went home the next day, called the police, and actually had to go back to Colorado to testify in court. Bottom line is: be careful when you are dating someone online......it may work out....then again, you may get more than you bargained for.

A good spanking is in order?

It seems a California woman is sueing her employer because he humiliated her. A contest among co-workers was started, and the losers had to be "spanked" with rival companies lawn signs. Doesn't the boss know you can pay someone to do that to you? I think her boss was just a kinky guy who doesn't get laid. It's a shame how some men never grow up. Why didn't he get his wife to spank him? AOL News - Spanked Employee Seeks $1.2 Million I think the boss should be investigated. Let's see what kind of pervert he really is!

Looking for love on Match.com?

I spoke to a friend of mine, who I had to change her name to protect her identity in several stories. Anyway, it seems she's posted both her pic and profile on Match.com. She's a pretty blonde, late thirties. She told me that she responded to approximately 20 men's ads ( good looking men). She got 0 responses. Then she posted her pic/profile and got about 10 responses from average looking to unattractive men. I told her......let me read your profile. She was silent. She's a very attractive woman, maybe it's what she said on her profile. how's this? Pretty blond, late 30's looking for charming, good looking man for dinner and possibly dessert. ha! or this? blonde vixen looking to wake up in a strange bed. i'd bet she'd get a response to That! Anyway, most people are in it for the looks, i know, so shallow. But I believe the man/woman has to have a sense of humor. That's what makes the world go round. Even though i'm married, I might check out Match.com to see who's posting. She might even have to email a few frogs to catch her prince.

Would you marry an ugly person for money?

This morning, I saw two men in 7-eleven. They were talking very loudly, and I was pouring coffee, and nearly spilled some on myself listening. One man was 51. He was a portly man with a pot belly. He was very unattractive with a large head, and gray hair. He was telling his old friend, 56, he married a woman 10 years younger. Women! he said. I started quickly calculating that this man's wife was my age. <> He seemed like he had a little money, but would you marry an unattractive person for money? And don't think you could have several affairs, because these unattractive ppl are smart enough to dump you if they feel you don't love them. I know marrying for looks is shallow, but who you wake up next to for the next 10 years of your life or for your entire life, is important. That woman should be kissing his 41 yr old wife's feet. You read about it all the time, a 50 yr old man marries a 26 yr old woman. And you wonder why the marriage doesnt' work out. I can only guess.

Answer to a reply

In response to a reply, yes Opie and Anthony are on XM radio for an uncensored show, and on Regular ( free ) radio censored for a few hours. Why buy the cow when you can get the spoiled milk for free? Opie and Anthony are hideous. And, you can call me an idiot--just read my blog buttmunch.

Can Lenny Kravitz afford a plumber?

You gotta hand it to the Smoking gun. They rock! Poor Lenny Kravitz has plumbing problems. What is he doing with his money? You've got to take care of your apt. Lenny!



Lenny Kravitz Sued Again Over Leaky Toilet - April 19, 2006

The Smoking Gun

Tuesday is.....horrible neighbor day.

This really doesn't effect me, but my neighbor's son got into a bit of trouble. While traveling to work, coming home, etc. I kept seeing my horrible white trash neighbor's son home from school. He'd be wandering around his yard, or up the street and around the corner. The Bus stop for my 7 yr old is right at the corner. My neighbor and I watched in amusement as he slanked up the road, and down to his house one day at 2:45. His bus comes around 4:15. Not that i'm nosy, my neighbor takes care of that for me---but my husband and Billy Bob were talking the other day........and Billy Bob told me his bratty daughter caught her 14 yr old brother with the 14 yr old girl up the street ( a chubby, unattractive girl). They both had pants down. Kids grow up so fast! The girl's father ( another less than attentive single Dad) came down to Billy Bob's and asked, " Has your son been over at my house?" The reason why he was asking? He found used condoms on his porch. So much for class. Now, don't think my entire neighborhood is like this! There are plenty of discreet girls. These two families pretty much are the worst. worst Parenting. I've already told my son to stay away from the girl. There's usually one in every neighborhood, i hate to admit. And NO , in my neighborhood growing up--I wasn't her. We had a girl about 5 doors down named Suzie who was THAT girl. take care everyone--and if you have a horrible neighbor--I want to know. There is a rumor Billy Bob is moving. hell, i'll even pay his first month's rent payment to get his hillbilly ass outta here.

Opie & Anthony

As heard on Howard Stern Howard 100 @ Sirius Satelline or shall i say on Sirius.........poor David Lee Roth was fired ( old news). Hey. he's a musician, not a DJ. KRock has hired Opie & Anthony. I know Opie and Anthony's key listeners are young men between 18-30. I think they suck. I used to listen a few years ago, before their church stunt. First of all, like most male DJ's......these guys couldn't get laid in a whorehouse if they were just plain average non-DJ's. They have exploited almost everyone, and bragged about this chick...that chick. my question is: Before radio, who was sleeping with them? Can Opie and Anthony have a successful censored show? probably not. These are the guys that were creaming their pants listening to couples going from 1 public place to another screwing and seeing who could have sex in the most public places. Shameful. They are Howard rip off artists at best, and will BLOW on regular radio, but I wish the two unattractive men Much luck.

That poor wife!

This is a joke from Gibbleguts humor:


Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, " at the end of Eucalyputus Drive". The operator then asked, " Can you spell that?" there was a long pause, and Bubba replied, " How bout if I drag her to Oak Street and you can pick her up there?"

!

It's Monday. I don't have a theme for Monday, but as promised tomorrow is horrible neighbor day, and i'm going to tell you about used condons left on the porch. ! Have a great day!

No Booze at the wedding?

I know it's Sunday, not Tuesday, horrible neighbor day--but yesterday Billy Bob had to stop and chat for a few seconds. It seems he was attending a wedding that was to be non-alcoholic. He was very upset, and told us he wouldn't be having a very good time. I think they are doing him a favor. Billy Bob is a 48 yr old alcoholic. He does have a job, works almost every day, but begged my husband once for a job. He works for his step-son. After work, he's always seen with a beer in his hand, and despite his doctor's warnings, continues to drink. Does everything have to revolve around booze?

Who wants a new drug?

ok ok I know my blog is all over the place--but that's what so cool. I blog about life, fat girls with the fat rolls hanging down past their jeans, my friend who caught crabs from her restaurant crush. Now, Huey Lewis sang about wanting a new drug--well, there's one out there. It's called "dippers" cigarettes dipped in PCP. And no, I don't think your local 7-11 sells them. If you've read past archives of this blog, you will know i'm against drugs. My husband and I both have drug addiction in our families, so I don't approve of any drugs. As per The Washington Post, two women from Alexandria went into SE Washington DC to score " dippers" and lost their lives because of it. A driver lost control of a car, and both women were killed. I'm so out of touch ( thank God) with the drug scene, but drugs are no good. If you can't have fun without them--well, you'll just end up in rehab or dead. Those are the only two options. Of the drug addicts in our families, and friends, we have about 8 of them that are dead so far. Some went into rehab and are doing o.k. As promised, even though this is Friday, later today i'll reveal the horrible neighbor story and used condoms on a porch. Have a wonderful weekend. Don't do drugs!

Fat is where it's at?

This morning, while I was getting gas. Boy, those hundred dollars bills are going to start showing up at gas stations, aren't they? with barely any change.

This morning I saw a young woman of about 23 wearing a belly shirt. She had a serious roll coming over the top of her jeans. Why do ppl leave the house like that? Is it the in thing to do to wear belly shirts when you are chubby?

i'm sure some men want to see that.....but I dont. and don't say don't look, because who could miss her?

Does she have a BIG BUTT?

Kids are cute, and I rarely post about my sons. Well, I take that back.........I suppose I do occasionally. This afternoon my 7 yr old was riding his scooter on the sidewalk, and after a few minutes, he came up to me. I was in the driveway, and had seen the woman he mentions walking by. He says: Mommy, this old lady ( she was approx. 30) came up to me and say move along, move it along. She had a BIG BUTT. I laughed, and thought first........she'd hate to hear she was an "old lady", and she did have a big butt. Kids are so funny.

What ever happened to dating?

so.........2 Duke university students have been arrested for kidnapping and raping a stripper. In my day, we went on dates. Well, i've seen their pictures. They would have had to kidnap and rape me too..i wouldn't go out with them. AOL News - Two Duke Athletes Arrested on Rape, Kidnapping Charges No means No and hell, can't you go to a bar and just find an ugly girl at closing time? it would save your reputation, jail time, embarrassment. Men that rape are pathetic. that screams out, " i can't get laid, i can't get laid" Good luck to those two boys, I hope they are innocent.

How do you get your Zzzzzzzzzz's?

I was in CVS today, and an elderly woman cashier was ringing up my purchase. She asked, "Do you have a CVS card?" I replied.....yes I do. I looked in my wallet, found it, and looked up and her eyes were closed. I prompted her. Miss? and she opened her eyes. Damn! napping at the cash register. She is probably 65 years old, if that. I want to go, shop, and get the hell out of there. Come to think of it, sometimes the younger workers aren't much better. How do you get your Zzzzzzzzz's??

Do YOU Wax?

I was speaking to a friend of mine, who has been the subject of many, many stories--It seems a younger man she knew when she was in college ( she was about 28, he was 19) years ago......came to see her. He's all grown up, 28, and living in California and working in the film industry. She told me he waxes his pubic hair and testicles. Is that gay? Do real men shave their private hair off? Who wants to be bothered? My husband says he may as well be a woman, but I wondered if that was gay. ? This young man swears he's straight........and it's really none of my business, but men are doing more and more things women do. !

Happy Easter! and stop eating all that candy........

o.k. by now you are raiding your kids Easter baskets? you'll tell them...i'll work it off. You'd have to spend 5 hours at the Gym working all that candy off. Happy Easter to everyone!

That must be one juicy Blog!

As per the Washington Post, a former gal who worked in the U.S. Senate, lost her job because of her blog. It seems it was sexy and scandalous. She named an "RS" , which to me.....should be enough to mask the man's name. A few hundred thousand ppl could be RS. And who is Robert Steinbuch anyway? Well, dear Robert didnt' like what this sex blogger, Miss Jessica had to write about him. Nevermind that RS could be anyone....he identified himself. He was humiliated and embarrassed. Damn....that makes me want to read the blog more. Well, Jessica is getting a book deal and a lawsuit. I hope she gets a good lawyer. It goes back to the old saying, Never kiss and tell. Maybe Jessica should do what I do and change the name altogether. Not that anyone cares about Coach Ryan being a bad coach, or my friend who caught crabs from her crush where she worked. But I think the initials should be enough....unless she provided enough details for people to guess who he really was. And what was so bad about him? impotent? tiny penis? i HAVE to find this blog..........<>

Where are all the Men?

The 28 yr old woman who spent six months in jail for having sex with her 13 yr old student is in trouble again. It seems she went on myspace.com ( note to 28 yr old Pamela--you are older than most on myspace) She was communicating with the teen boy. Damn, I have a 15 yr old, i'd better watch him on myspace. My question for Pamela is-- What is the attraction to young teen boys? Why don't you find a man? You are interested in children who's hobbies include playing video games, and hanging out with their male friends. Yes, they are interested in girls--but women? There is something wrong with a woman who would go after children. Lock her up and throw away the key--- I'm sure most moms would agree. link to this perverts story: AOL News - Ex-Teacher Arrested in Teen Sex Case

Don't get marital advice from HIM!

who? Eminem of course. He married his ex-wife again and it lasted for 3 months. Why not just shack up and get the milk for free?

If you listen to some ppl.......if it didnt' work the 1st time, what makes you think it will work the second?

With all the women in the world, and he's famous enough........he should be with a different woman every 3 months anyway. Look at Warren Beatty, he played the hot stud for 49 years........................


Everyone have a Happy Easter. I don't think I'll be eating too much candy. I'm not 12 anymore.

Pullin a brotha over.........

I read an article in the Washington Post about a man who just happens to be black, getting pulled over by Montgomery County Police officers.

First of all.....it's approx. 1:40 a.m. 2nd he's driving a car with a suspended registration (not his car) 3rd He is so appalled about being pulled over ( he owns 2 restaurants, and is 36) , he refuses to give the police his drivers license.

Big mistake. I've been pulled over at least 20 X for speeding, running stop sign, running red light, etc.
I have NEVER refused to give the officer my license.

The man is taking the officers to court. I hope they win. Certain ppl in life just need to realize their shit DOES stink like everyone else's. The NERVE of some ppl.

A dream.......crushed?

Everyone has a dream. So did a man my husband and I met recently. My husband is trying to get a team together for county baseball. We met Ryan, 52, also a coach. Here's Ryan's story.



His older son, who is now 25, was a great baseball player. He played county ball, on a Cal Ripken league for a few years, coached by Coach Moon. Now Coach Moon has been around a long time. He's probably 57. He helps coach the local High school's varsity football team, and has been coaching a Cal Ripken league, among a few other county leagues for years. He decides to give Coach Ryan a chance with one of his County teams. Now Ryan's been around, and now his younger son, Karl, is 14 and is an adequate player. Ryan has help from some other Dad/Coaches and has a losing season a few years ago. Rumors fly from the players, a few players walk off the field and decide to play for Coach Moon. He's not happy, so after the season is over, Coach Moon tells Coach Ryan he won't be coaching any more of his teams.

I know.....Coach Ryan should suck it up...........but now he's assisting another coach, and most ppl don't know he used to be a head coach. This man is just like my husband--he loves baseball. I just felt sorry for him when i heard the story. A dream.....crushed.
Here's a funny link for all..........have a wonderful Tuesday. I know it's horrible neighbor day--tune in later today when i post a story about my neighbor's son-------- and used condoms. Dont miss it!!!!

RedneckWoman

Tom Cruise wants to know...........

" What is normal anyway?" hmmmm. well Tom, I doubt anyone is looking to you to define normal.

Tom wants everyone to know he's happy. I'm happy today too Tom. And i'm not married to a 25 yr old! I've got news for Tom: most men would be happy married to a young woman 16 years their junior.

But jumping up and down on Oprah's couch like a school boy? I think Tom is having a Mid-life Crisis.

Tom.....let's do some Math. When your child is in kindergarden, you'll be 48. When your child starts high school, you'll be 57. The "old" dad. I want to see how happy you claim to be then. You'll have 2 older children, grandchildren, and a teenage child to raise. And your young bride will be 41. exactly my age. Unless she has some botox treatments or a face-lift she will look older. Let's see if you are jumping up and down on anyone's couch then! !

Tom should just go buy a corvette and tape some duct tape to his mouth.

108 comments? Damn

About a week ago, I discovered a new blog.....called New York Hack about a taxi driver in Ny. check it out............New York Hack One day I want to be just like him and have friggin 108 comments.

Waaaaaaaaa!

Something to remember your DATE by.........

This is an amusing story. I have a friend. We'll call her Katie. Back when she was in her early 20's.......she had a crush on a fellow co-worker at the restaurant where she worked. She said the guy seemed harmless enough, but he was really a dirty guy. I believe that Katie wasn't sleeping with anyone else at the time, because although she is not the most morally sound woman, she only dates 1 loser at a time. Anyway, Katie went out with this guy and slept with him. About 3 days later, ( she tells me) she noticed gray spots on her private area, around her pubic hair. She was curious as to what it was......then the next day.....she was horrified. ( She told me this story years ago, about 5 years after it happened). She was so embarrassed. There were little crabs crawling around in her pubic hair. She went to the Dr. and got cream, i think. The next day she confronted the nasty young man, and he denied it. That's just the sickest thing someone could do....is to spread that around. Katie didnt' sleep with anyone else for a while, and like i said, was so embarrassed she didnt' tell me until years later. I suppose, to some, it's just an average weekend. If that were me...i'd seek revenge.

Check out naked boy Chronicles

He has the best naked/half naked pics. This guy looks yummy.

Naked Boy Chronicles well, on with my day.

Finding a thief a job

My husband and I frequently get food from the local deli. It's owned by a very nice Korean woman. She told my husband a story yesterday I thought I would share. She had a woman in her mid 30's working for her for a few years. She said over a period of a few months she noticed money missing. It's a very small Deli, and she really doesn't make that much money, and she said she carefully counts the money/goes over receipts each evening. She fired the thief. ( she only had 1 woman working for her). She felt sorry for the woman, so her sister offered to help the woman find a job with the government. Her sister pulled some strings, and the woman started taking classes. She finished all the classes and was ready to start her 45,000.00 a year job. That's good money for someone with hardly any education and is a thief. She failed to do one thing. The notice came for her to go back. then, it came again. She had lost the job, over one thing.

drug test.

The Deli owner said she knew the woman was on drugs. It's a shame too. But, I believe it's a good thing she fired her when she did....things could have been worse, she could have stolen more money instead of just skimming off the top.

THe Maryland ladies got it done!

Congradulations to the Univ of Md. ladies basketball team. Go girls! The young men couldn't get it done, and the ladies won. Poor Duke! I have to say I have not seen many 6'7" ladies. I would look like a 10 yr old next to her. I don't usually watch basketball--men or women, but the game against Duke was great!

Happy Hump day!

What sports do you watch???

Is anyone else sick of these Cochran Group commercials with Johnny Cochran advertised even though he's 6 feet under???

Let's shake things up!

For the few ppl that actually read this blog, check out some of the blogs to my left. I'm going to delete some, and add others. view at your own risk. Sometimes I even find myself boring......but....I will try to be interesting from time to time.............

Some new blogs have been added, so enjoy!


And here's a funny link. enjoy.MadBlast It's a parody of Dick Cheney and his hunting accident.

Flash brought to you by Lenscrafters......leave your eyes in their hands.......lol j/k

for all your photography nuts out there....I love this link:Flickr: Explore interesting photos from the last 7 days in FlickrLand...

After she dies, I want her collection of toe rings!

or something like that. One of my pet peeves in life is relatives or friends discussing what they want of a person once they are gone. You can all be sitting around having lunch, and one of them will say, " When Aunt Grace dies, I want that antique desk." I think it's morbid and just plain wrong. Be grateful in life, and if Aunt Grace leaves you that desk in her Will, be happy. If she doesn't.........buy your own desk. It's sad how some people can be so selfish.

A friend of mine recently told me that when her elderly neighbor died, she suspected the resident manager of going into the poor man's apt. and taking things. I told her that this happened in my own mother's family when her mother and brother had died. It's shameful, but I suspect more people do it that you can imagine.

Have a great week!

Kids and my favorite chair

I've been reading a lot of other blogs lately. Esp. ones about children. Can we talk? I've been a mom for 22 years, and have so many stories to tell........But, one of the negative aspects about getting older is..memory.

Were you thinking.....lack of sex drive? Let's not go there today.

I have a funny child story. About a year ago I bought a brown wicker chair from Pier One, one of my favorite stores. Anyway, about two months later, my favorite chair had a hole in the back. One of my children did it, no one would admit it, and i friggin miss that chair. Oh, to have a home where everything remains as you put it, furniture stays the same, and there are no popcorn bags and soda cans on the floor.

Lately, my 15 yr old and husband have been tossing a kick ball around the rec room, and my husband said, " We shouldn't be doing this".......yet, still, they continue.

Calgon, take me away.

Pervert Alert!

I know it's not Tuesday, but I have a neighbor story. I had just come home from getting dinner for the family, and I see my neighbor across the street, we'll call him Joe. Joe is 55, single, and very odd. He was outside his house, running around. Billy Bob's charming daughter, Ruby (not her real name), 16, was outside on her porch, when my neighbor yelled, " Dont come over yet, There is a squirrel running around on my roof". I suppose he was trying to catch it? Anyway, it seemed rather odd. Joe hardly has any visitors, and this girl is young enough to be his grand daughter. I'll keep my eyes peeled, but if you are waiting for Billy Bob and his caveman wife to do anything--that could take until the girl is 18. btw age of consent in Md is 16.....but i think this guy should stay away from the teens in the neighborhood. Have a great evening.

joke: cheap prostititue

After spending the night with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. "Thanks", she said. " But I only charge $20". "Twenty bucks for the entire night? the amazed man asked. " You can't make a living on that!" " oh, dont worry" she said. " I do a little blackmail on the side"!


Ha ha. $20 bucks is kinda cheap. you'd have to wonder why so cheap. Too many diseases out there now. Aids, Gonorreah, herpes, etc. etc.

Have a great day!

Charlie Sheen takes a break from screwing......

long enough to question 9/11. Hell, I question 9/11. I question airport security. Let me be the one you have to get by. I'm suspicious of everyone. It's not that Charlie Sheen doesn't have the right.........but he's a womanizer. A sex addict. An adulterer. It's a joke when he has something serious to say..........!

Denise needs to have that dont' ask don't tell......then maybe their marriage would work. Charlie just needs women. period. He thinks with his johnson. Except for this story. check it out............


Actor Charlie Sheen Questions Official 9/11 Story

hey Charlie? maybe all those arabs/muslims need to get laid more, and they wouldn't be so hostile. Charlie's motto? make love, not bombings.

No news to report

Today is Tuesday, horrible neighbor day. Sadly, my trashy neighbor has been behaving himself. I suppose that's good for me. If you have a horrible neighbor story you'd like to share....feel free to comment. I love those horrible neighbor stories. I know Billy Bob isn't the worst neighbor in the world. Just another classic neglectful father-alcoholic saga............ Trust me, i've had worse. I once lived next door to a woman who was mentally ill. She tried to kill her husband. Trust me....one Tuesday--I will tell you about that one. So, have a great day, and maybe in the course of all my reading all those newspapers that are piling up next to my porch, i'll have something to blog about. peace.

between who's legs?

i'm currently watching a foreign film, Between your legs-- 2 minutes into the movie, a counselor ( who has a sex addiction) comes home from a trip, wife isn't home, starts screwing the babysitter, and as she screams in pleasure, his little daughter has a belt or something in her hand, walks in on them and starts screaming......." don't hurt her". After 13 stitches, the guy never goes back home, his daughter won't speak to him, and in his medical practice, his wife has called most of his patients, and 1/2 of them won't see him anymore. Netflix customers only gave it 2 stars , so i'm not expecting much.

by the way, I highly recommend Netflix Netflix
and Sirius satellite radio. SIRIUS Satellite Radio - The Best Programming on Radio.


I'll let you know how between your legs turns out..........

Big Love, Bigger catfights

The HBO show " Big Love" is certainly interesting. Bill Paxton seems to be a little too old, too weathered, to play this part. I get tired just watching him try to keep up with his 3 wives.

In reality, If I had two other wives to share my husband with, someone would end up dead or bloodied. The two younger wives are a mess. One is very immature, the other a shop-a-holic. I would have to say this show advertises very well at least one thing: Wait til you are ready to have kids. Kids are fun. Kids are cute. But, kids are work, let's be honest.

I feel out of the loop that I have not been watching " American Idol".

Oh, and one more thing. Terri Shaivo is dead. let the poor woman rest in peace. Her family needs to get over it. She laid there like a vegetable, and they kept her alive for 10 years. She's gone. I'm sick of seeing that name.
Have a great day all!

White trash with class?

hate to tell ya.....but there is no such thing. There is a mom who has both a web-site and a business out of White trash clothing/etc. She wants people to think that white trash is appealing. I'm from a middle class family, but I have been around white trash all my life. It all started in my little city when a few renters moved in. They were white trash. What is white trash you ask? I'll tell you. White trash may/may not keep their home clean, but you can better believe they have no idea how to act, dress, or raise children. Usually the father or mother is an alcoholic/drug addict. They believe that the entire neighborhood must raise their children aka Billy Bob. A trailer park is usually a good place to find white trash. Are ppl curious? sure. Rednecks also can fall in the same category, but A lot of rednecks have more money than white trash, but still act as appalling. I don't recommend dressing like white trash, unless it's Halloween. Good for this mom, Michelle Lamar that she's making money off this. But let me tell you.......there are a few middle-upper middle class people who enjoy watching the Redneck/white trash in action. My sister was telling me someone she knows actually buys tickets for the Monster Truck ralley's just to see the Rednecks in action. White trash probably couldn't afford the monster truck ralley tickets........they'd win them or steal them. Or paint someone's house for them. Please do not take offense by my comments, it's all in fun. And no it's not a compliment to call someone white trash. ! i'll randomly give out definitions of white trash........lol ok number 1: You are white trash if you leave your 3 year old daughter's birthday party for a beer run. Number 2 If you flash your boobs at a 3 yr old's birthday party you are white trash. It's that simple. Lamar's business is called White Trash Palace and good for her if she makes money at it. I don't agree that if you dont like Martha Stewart and are not a yuppie or affluent, you're white trash. Usually one is born into white trash/ but you can also move yourself out of that class. There are fine lines between the middle class/ yuppies/ affluent/ white trash. You'd have to observe how one behaves before you make your final judgement. Lamar would wish more pple would be white trash than are. They are in a rare breed of their own. oh, and one more thing.......Second chance jeans are $150.00? Very few of the white trash community could afford that. !

Loser of the week

Thomas Hose, 48, of Pennsylvania. 1st of all, at 38 he was living at home w/ his parents. red flag. He either kidnapped or somehow convinced a 14 yr old to come and live with him. Thank god this girl, now 24, Tanya Kach, is alive. How this monster could have kept this teen for so long.......and his parents! Whoever lived in that home with him is just as guilty. He is old enough to be her father--and then some. What could he possibly have told his parents? look what I found Mom and Dad---can I keep her? This nutcase needs to be put away, and have the key thrown away. Thomas can't get a date--so he kidnaps one of the students at the Middle school where he works? shameless. here's the link for the full story. My heart goes out to her parents, who lost 10 years with this girl. AOL News - Missing Teen Resurfaces a Decade Later

Keep off the old man's grass dammit!

An old man in Ohio has shot and killed a 15 yr old boy for walking across his grass. That seems pretty extreme. But what can you expect from a Bush supporter? lol I don't know if he supports Bush, i read that on a message board. Here's the article.AOL News - Man Kills Teen for Walking on Lawn, Police Say

I have to say I do like aol news. I have something to say on the subject, like all other subjects. Im a mom, and I have problems with my neighbors. Speaking of neighbors ... it's horrible neighbor day.

Anyway, No you don't shoot the brat. I have a 15 yr old myself. But kiddies/parents.......lesson number 1. If you have a crotchety old man living in your neighborhood who treats his grass like royalty....beware.

In the article , the poor man refer's to being " harassed" by neighbors. Now, whether this is true or not, bottom line.........respect your neighbors. With some, you just can't win. But I am speaking from years of experience when i say that some ppl expect everyone else to parent their children, and they themselves do a lousy job of parenting. The neighbor children across my street have 1. trespassed many times into various neighbors yards 2. rang neighbors doorbells, and ran 3. gone up into my neighbors yard, picked her flowers ( very rare, expensive ones) and thrown them across her yard 4. actually looked into my neighbors bedroom windows 5. At various late hours screaming and yelling, and that includes their father in his drunkeness 6. thrown objects at my neighbors houses

So, you can imagine how much I dislike problem children. This poor 15 yr old boy didn't know who he was messing with. It may have been an innocent--I'll cut through your yard to get my football........but let me tell you....back in the early 70's.......my ball went in the neighbor across the streets yard, and he kept it.
The boy should have just been warned, and perhaps phoning the police if all else fails.......but you can never predict what a grumpy old man will do. bottom line: stay in your own fucking yard.

Have a great day and Go Wizards!

What a pig!

I hope everyone had a great St. Patrick's day. I have an amusing story. My younger son recently started playing soccer again, and at his practice Friday night, something funny happened.

I can understand missing dinner to come to practice, but one of the coach's helpers is such a fat pig, he was out there on the field coaching with a cheeseburger in his hand. !

That is the definition of glutton.

Here's a quick joke for you. Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounteres in the dental clinic after hours.

One day he said sadly, " Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband is going to get suspicious. " No way sweetie, he's a dumb as a post" said Laura.

" Besides," she said. " We've been fooling around for six months, and he doesn't suspect a thing"

"true," agreed the dentist. "But you are down to one tooth!"


Have a great day!

Idiot of the week

I know.............it's amazing, but a man from California ( hmmmmm ) was driving a city dump truck, and hit his own car, then sued himself for damages. Case was dropped, now his wife is trying to get in on the act.


now I feel soooo smart. I have a lot to do today, and now i'm going to run around and do my errands. My van is almost out of gas...........( why do i do that?) but i did manage to clean the upstairs toilet. yay!

living in a house with 4 males, ranging in age from 7-45, I have to clean those toilets nearly every other day, sometimes every day.

I want to see that movie, Failure to launch, because my oldest son is headed in that direction. He's 21, soon to be 22, and I do his laundry, and make 80% of his meals. My husband and I try to guide him, I tell him to be more responsible, but I feel most young men just dont mature as fast as women do.

We recently got high-speed internet from Comcast, and that boy sits around playing " warcraft" when he's not working. I guess it is a hobby, but i told him he needs to get out more. There's this wonderful place called, " the Outside"

have a great day, and make sure your toilets are clean!

Who's Lotus is that?

I was in Dunkin Donuts this morning, picking up some donuts for my 3 sons, when a young woman of about 20 came in. She ordered a coffee, and asked the cashier " Do you know who's Lotus that is outside?" I hadn't even noticed, but of course, i parked on the opposite side. All I could think was this young woman wanted to marry the man ( if it belonged to a man) who's car that was. so materialistic!

It just proves if you are ugly as sin, but have a Lotus, you can get laid.

The Sopranos re-cap

Well, after 4 years, we finally started the 6th and final season. I really think the writers are just giving up. my advice to the Creator of this wonderful drama is to find new writers--take the show to new heights. First of all, I'd like to see Carmella catch Tony cheating one last time, and this time break it off with him for good. Have her fall for another made guy, and that way Tony and Carm will be forever entwined. Have things get racier for Meadow. And make AJ totally go wild, driving Tony nuts. Last night's episode was o.k. The end of the show where Uncle June shoots Tony was surprising....but was it a dream? I was disappointed in the last season, and I hope they have many twists and turns to come. It's a shame to see a show that popular fail to live up to it's reputation--but we'll see. I think another interesting plot twist is to have Tony have yet another mistress who stalks him, and doesn't like being the " girl on the side" or maybe have a mistress get pregnant. We're watching it to be entertained, I know you have to lay the ground work, but " lets get busy" Do YOU watch the Soprano's?

Madonna passed her energy to Brittany...

at least that 's what she told her daughter. It's a well known fact Madonna is bisexual. She even wrote about her adventures in her "Sex" book. I think she still wants to shock the world.....and unfortunately her daughter has to see also. The biggest downside to being bisexual is that the woman could leave her man for another woman..you just never know. Guy Ritchie should watch out. His wife was horny that night. That's one thing i could say......I will never kiss a woman on the lips. women just dont appeal to me.

Am I blogging to myself?

sometimes I wonder that. Where is the creativity? hmm. maybe to your left. lol

I always wanted to just sit in a quiet restaurant and watch people, and write about them. People can be so interesting!

like today. There was this middle aged black woman who reminded me of Tina Turner because her hair was " wild" This place is actually a cafe/bakery called Panera Bread. Buy their danishes, they are delicious. I notice that most ppl who go in there are high maintenance women/gay men/ " metrosexuals".

They have very healthy food. sandwiches, soup, coffee, bagels. And very good food. This woman was interesting. Wild hair and dangling earrings. And this mousy woman in front of me. <> You also see a lot of catty women chatting it up with their girlfriends. Of course, when I go in, i'm alone, and i'm rushing to get to another errand.

Today is Tuesday. horrible neighbor day. I have not forgotten. The house next to Billy Bob's is still for rent. The last ppl i hear that saw the house, ran into Billy Bob. I wonder if that killed the sale. Do YOU have a horrible neighbor story? I'd love to see it.


Have a great day, and " Crash" won for best picture 2005, It's a great movie. check it out.

All he needs is better jokes, bottle of hair dye

So what do YOU think of Jon Stewart hosting the Oscars? I think they can do better. Give that man some hair dye and he'd take 10 years off his looks.

Bush dropped the ball?

Damn, watch the news today, and you'll know Bush's ear's must be burning............

We all knew he dropped the ball. He/his staff/fema/ and the list goes on. My feelings on Bush. well, i didn't vote for him, and I feel W. just doesn't live in the "Real world". He was warned how devestating Katrina would be. You tell all the people who survived the hurricane, and the ppl who were attacked/raped/killed at the superdome because the national guard wasn't called in. No, W wasn't the only one to blame. But, he has to accept responsibility. click on this link. AOL News - Bush, Chertoff Warned Before Katrina Hit, Video Shows


For 2008, we need a president who is more in tuned with reality. With the real world, what's really going on. For god's sake, Mrs. Bush called in " hurricane Karina". They are so out of touch.

Your thoughts?

A funny link/horrible neighbor day...........

Okay, so I remembered today is horrible neighbor day. Billy Bob and his brats have been rather quiet lately. They seem to just sit and occasionally watch me driving in and out of my driveway...........

I'm so glad I have a full, happy life. When i think back when i was their children's age........for one--I had a job when i was 16. spending money. money enough to buy designer jeans.and shit. that was important to a 16 yr old.

I do have something interesting. My neighbor across the street, and down a few steps......his 15 yr old daughter is living with him now. I have nothing bad to type about him. He had her thrust upon him because she was a runaway, and didn't want to live with her mom. Yesterday, as I was going to my van to get something, I saw a police car in front of his home, and his daughter getting out of it. I suppose my neighbor, we'll call him Mr. J, I suppose he is having a very hard time with his teenage daughter.

This is a very funny link. Enjoy.

MadBlast

Have a great day!

Cum on who's face?

I heard over the weekend on SIRIUS satellite radio, which you should purchase........ plug, plug

that OPRAH interviewed a woman obsessed with sex. What a twist. Oprah said she couldn't see being promiscuous because of strange " penis's". Well hell Oprah, the penis isn't the first thing I would be concerned about. yes, dammit, i'm shallow. I have to admit I go for looks. I just used to pray to God they didn't have an ugly penis.

Looks, sense of humor, Usually the penis is the last thing. oh! and how they are in bed. But i got pretty lucky. All the men I slept with were pretty good. But I did have some lousy kissers before that. Ladies, have you ever gotten the type of man who slobbers when he kisses? ewwwwwwww.

I'm going to try to get the picture thing working again. Tune in tomorrow when I tell you about my old neighbor who's wife tried to kill him. It's a must read. and true. no lie. hey. Who do I look like? James Frey?

Idiot of the week

Once I get organized.......we'll have the " idiot of the week" ......... !

This week's idiot is a man I saw today at the gas station. He was a black man, probably about 55 years old. I was pumping gas, he pulled up and got out of his car. I heard him say, " what's the pump number" then he repeated it. About 5 seconds later, he came around to my pump, to my horror, with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. I dont think I've ever seen anyone smoke around the gas pumps!

What an idiot! Have a great weekend. Sorry no terrible neighbor post Tuesday, things have been pretty quiet with Billy Bob.

Do I sing off-key?

Lately, I've been tivo'ing American Idol. I have got to watch them and catch up. Well, I've been home with my sick son for days now. He has strep throat, but it on medication. After Valentine's day, he had a stomach ache. I thought. hmmmm maybe too much candy. So, Feb. 15th we were home together.

Then, the kids had a long 4 day weekend. During the weekend, stomach ache returned, and so did a sore throat. I checked his throat on Monday, and it didn't look good. After dose after dose of children's motrin, things did look good. so, Wednesday we went to the dr. and sure enough....strep. I always take my son to the dr. with a sore throat, although the last two times, it wasn't strep. Dr. recommended motrin every 6 hours.....So, let's count the days.......I've been home w/ him last Friday til today. Almost a week. What a vacation. He's been on meds for almost 2 days now, and it doesn't hurt when he eats...so all is well. I just hope I dont' get it. So are YOU watching American Idol, and when is the Soprano's starting again?

Should I get my eyes checked?

I dunno. ask Dick Cheney. ! Embarrassing. someone needs hunter safety classes.

Is it just me or do we hear too much about Oprah? She 's enough to make you sick. Did you hear? She had Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood on her show. Did i watch? no. Did I tivo it? no.

I should have tivo'd it and played it just before I wanted to fall asleep. Oprah? Trisha and Garth are a couple in love. are they married yet? take the hint Oprah and marry your over-the-hill boytoy Steadman.

I suppose she wants to keep him around, so she doesn't look like a spinster, because hell.......she is getting much, much older now. She should have had a few marriages under her belt by now. psssssst. they do make such a thing as a pre-nup. Steadman leaves the marriage with the clothes on his back, and a nice cabin in Aspen........but that's fucking it. !

have a great weekend all!

A day without power........

Happy Valentine's Day! Here in Maryland, we got 9 1/2 inches of snow in my region. It was beautiful. Until Sunday afternoon at 3:45 p.m. Our power went out. We did have a generator, and about 3 small heaters, but the house got down to a temperature of 45 degrees, and by Monday evening, the hot water ran out. Our home is all electric. So, trying to keep my house warm, kids entertained, as the schools were closed....it was fun. I thought of the prospect of having to do dishes by hand. ugh. I felt like an amish person. My youngest kept begging me to hook our downstairs big screen to the generator.....but we had no cable. Where I live, even with an antenna, you don't get that great of a picture. You either need cable, Direct TV, satellite. The cable did eventually come back on, and so did the power........ at first, on Monday at about 7:40, the power came on and so did all the smoke detectors. I'm running through the house thinking What candle fell over? Two of our bathrooms have no windows, so I had to keep candles inside each one. Everything was o.k., but I was thanking God for electricity. The fact I could keep my blog up, try to be creative, and check my email. What are YOUR plans for Valentine's day?

The mentally ill in the news again.......

This woman was so crazy she not only killed her co-workers, but her neighbor also.AOL News - California Postal Death Toll Now Eight

Don't worry. I'm not going to kill Billy Bob. He's not worth my time. Sometimes I dream I live in a castle and all those white trash men/women/children are all drowned in the moat surrounding my castle. When I was a teen, I never imagine how much having a little class could go a long way.

If you've never been taught manners, dignity, and self-respect, you are unprepared for the world. I try not to look down on Billy Bob, but we are cut from different cloths. God, I sound like such a fucking snob. But that's what makes me ME.

Have a wonderful weekend, and it's supposed to snow here tomorrow night, and you'd think Al-queda was coming or something. !

Weatherman: How much snow will we get tomorrow night? Hurry and buy your bread and toilet paper, you could be snowed in for weeks. There will be a plow coming to pick me up for work on Sunday.

If ever time the weathermen were wrong, a finger got chopped off.......I bet they'd try harder.

Is Clay Aiken Gay?

I know what some of you are thinking... who cares?

But, as we all know....once you become a star and millions of christian right wing conservatives like you..
well, you know how the story goes. There is nothing wrong w/ being gay. When I first saw Clay on Television, I thought he was gay also.

But poor Clay. Just can't keep those men's mouths shut. They have to kiss and tell. The alleged man, " John" was on Howard Stern's show this morning on sirius Howard 100. He said he had a washcloth with Clay's dna on it. i say prove it. let them test it, and then see what Clay's fans think of him.

I heard a story about Clay being mean to a bunch of school children. That's not cool in my book. I hope all Clay's lovers come out of the woodwork.

Strippers Arrested!

Don't you just love the smoking gun? Strippers arrested for selling cocaine. Well, damn, isn't it enough to strip, but they are a full service club that also has drugs. That's Disneyland for junkies. click here for the story. 25 Strippers Nabbed In Raids - February 3, 2006 They worked at Clubs such as Lollipops ( original), Brass Flamingo ( tacky), Bare Assets ( brainless), Foxy Lady ( throw back from the 70's ), Vegas Showgirls ( Were they in Vegas? hmmmmm) , Calendar girls ( for trailer park men ), Club Extasy ( cheesy). Come on strip club owners. think up some original names for your clubs. How about LEGS open til 2 a.m. ( giggle) BEAVERS ( lol ) Grab some tail. i mean it is a raunchy place, give it a raunchy name. There was one woman with the tattoo " Daddy's girl" on her shoulder. It's dysfuction at it bests.....take a peek at these classy women: hey woman number 1 looks like the girl next door. how tragic.The Smoking Gun: Archive boys... take that one home to momma......she'd get thrown out right on her ass................. wow. Poor girls. Well, look at it this way.some women believe life begins at 40. These gals still have a chance.

Blogging about Katie Holmes

i know.......who gives a shit?! but check out this blog. lol so, some ppl actually think Katie is faking her pregnancy? lol I just hate when women who are pregnant wear ridiculous clothing. cover up and be a little classy. This reeks white trash. You could almost imagine Brittany Spears head on her body. Katie? you need a make-over honey! Blog to check out. Katie Holmes: what are you wearing? - Blogging Baby What do YOU think of what she's wearing?

I love you to death?

Melissa H. strangled her best friend. She says self defense. I say bullshit. In self defense you push someone, punch someone, not strangle. This is a true story. It happened near my town.

The women were both drunk, celebrating something that happened in College.They are both married. Who knows their sexual orientation.

They went bar hopping during spring Break from Loyola College, getting drunk, and argueing. Melissa ( of course the one that survived) says her friend was in love with her. Obsessed.

Well, then why didn't you just pull the car over and get out and get a restraining order. Damn. There goes my theory of woman falls in love with man, woman meets other woman, falls in love, and kills woman. Her poor husband. What a mental case.

I hope she gets what's coming to her. That's why I like being so independent. I dont depend on any woman, and i'm not attached to any woman. Obviously, this friendship went beyond the normal " friends".

Funny thing, police are looking for a motive, and repeatedly ask Melissa H. if she's a lesbian.

good question. I think they know the answer. Have a great weekend all!

Is Oprah gaining weight again?

And this woman wants you to believe her diet secrets? Hmmmmmmm.

She and Dr. Phil should practice what they write about.

Are you watching " American Idol"? It seems like Simon, Paula, and sidekick ( God help me I can't remember his name) are having a lot of fun. Good for them!

A Million little pieces.........

OH, James Frey....what have you done? First of all, you could have written that your book was " based on a true story". Now, I do recommend that ppl read James Frey's A Million little pieces, fiction or not.

I'm wondering.... Is the staff at Hazelton mad at Frey? Because drug and alcohol, gambling, any addiction is serious, and to try and rid yourself of it is serious also. A Drug rehab has to be taken seriously. Drugs and alcohol are powerful, to say the least. My sister was a drug addict/alcoholic. My brother-in-law who is now deceased was an alcoholic. My father in law spent a few years as an alcoholic. My husband's best friend from childhood, who is now deceased, was a drug addict/alcoholic. I have been around several alcoholics all my life. I wanted to read Frey's book to get a sense of what they went through. It is hard to read how he vomits daily, and describes how he can't hold any food down, and is a medical mess. How he almost died before coming to rehab. Addictions are powerful and the fact that he's sober is a great accomplishment.

So, everyone, get off his dick. Maybe the next time he writes a book, if there is any fiction to it......he could simply state based on a true story. some facts have been wildly exaggerated?

News on the Billy Bob front. He lives in a Duplex, and the neighbor next door is trying to rent out his property. On Saturday, my husband told me that Billy Bob took it upon himself to talk to the prospective neighbors. Sheesh. There goes that tenant. ! Have YOU read Frey's book yet?

Are YOU Gay, Bisexual, or Asexual, hetero?

It seems these days no one is totally heterosexual. I have never, nor will I ever ( i'm pretty sure) be with a woman. But when ppl talk about their sexual orientation, it seems muddled.

Woman: I'm a lesbian, but i've been with several men, and last week, my g/f Dorothy and I picked up a guy at a club and he was pretty hot, we both did him.

?

My question is....when you are going to make a committment.....Who do you chose to be with? Is everyone so open-minded? Because i'm pretty sure if I came home, and my husband was fucking my neighbor John on our couch......I don't think i'd be happy about it. What sexual orientation are YOU? ( btw you can remain anonymous.....just get it off your chest. you are 1/4 gay, but like women. no biggie. !

What's happening over at the neighbors?

In our diverse neighborhood, we have several older, smaller homes. One such home is directly behind me. From my 2nd floor, and deck, I can see this small 2 bedroom home. Approx. August a mother and her son moved into the home. I have a busy life, so I can't always watch what's going on.....but the woman is a single mother. On most days, her car would be gone when I'd pass her home going to work. But lately, her car is there all the time, and she appears to be home-schooling her 7 yr old. He was in a private school in November, and I know you can't get all the materials together that fast for home schooling.. so I have to wonder what's going on. Does she work at home? Is she on welfare? I don't think she's independently wealthy. I am wondering because my 7 yr old plays with her son. I value family first, and have to look out for the welfare of my son. She appears to never leave her home, and her car's back tag is off and looks like she hasn't moved it in days. I go out almost every day, and we'd probably be hungry after about 4 days if I didn't. But it's like a horror movie. What's going on at the neighbors? She has a large dog which she lets out.......and I've seen a glimpse of her...but it's bizarre. I'm ready to move to my 6-10 acres of land with no fucking neighbors. Have a great hump day.

Help! I blacked out.

This is a quote from Billy Bob. Hello everyone in cyber land. Today is horrible neighbor day. Do you have a horrible neighbor? i sure do. Billy bob had quite the adventure a few weeks ago. His neighbor, my neighbor across the street, we'll call her Miss H, told me that earlier that Friday, she was leaving to go to the grocery store, and saw Billy Bob and his cavewoman wife pull up. Billy Bob was cradling an 18 pack of Budweiser.

No, he can't fork over 110.00 so his son can play sports, but he can keep buying those huge containers of beer. Miss H says, " I didn't know they made containers with that many beers?!" The liquor stores know the Billy Bobs. They need their beer. Anyway, on with the story...........So, by all accounts, approx. 6 p.m. after who knows how many beers, Billy Bob passed out ( blacked out) in his backyard. 911 was called. His hillbilly daughter told me her father was dying. Turns out he's just experiencing one of the symptoms all alcholics face. Blackouts. My brother in law used to get them all the time. ( He's no longer with us). Billy Bob has told my neighbor up the street Mr. R he may be moving to West Virginia. What a good place for him. He'll fit right in with all the other hillbillies. If there is a God in heaven, he'll send that drunkard, his caveman wife, and his two horrible children off to West Virginia. What's YOUR horrible neighbor story?

When she was a little girl..........

Katie Holmes has said, " When i was a little girl ( 4) and saw Tom Cruise movies ( Risky Business came out in around 1983) I thought i want to marry him. ! yes, Katie, and when i was a little girl i wanted to marry Paul Michael Glaser, who is now about 57, and David Cassidy. I wouldn't marry them NOW.

That's the thing about some men. As the tiny tots are watching them,some men seem to gravitate to much younger women, so when that little tot becomes a woman someday, she may marry the man she admired.

I liked Clint Eastwood too, but let's face it...........When a pal and I went to see The Bridges of Madison County........oh......my.....god. Clint took off his shirt and 1/2 the audience went Ewwwwwwwwwww.

Then men were muttering " Put that shirt back on". To Katie....it's great she found her much older man..but when your child is 10 your husband will be ready for AARP. That's the sad part. She'll still be in her prime,and i'm sure they're be some young hottie she'll be interested in. <> Tom should wish for eternal youth. he's going to need it. !

you lost weight HOW?

Has anyone really looked at Star Jones lately? I think she had gastric bypass surgery. She's not saying. lol

Her face is still full, as if she is heavy. Star took the easy way out, which is fine. But she has to know.......some of us can tell you didn't want to hit the gym baby. Have a wonderful evening!

Take care of the children

I'll get more of the details later, but i believe an NFL player has come out, and admitted he's gay. He was molested at age 11, and contributes that to him being gay.

I would have to agree. There was a Dr. who spoke about that very thing once. He said that if a young boy is molested, by a man, that the young boy can become aroused, therefore he will associate that arousal to men. Later in life, he could possibly discover he's gay. Or maybe think he's gay because of the experience.

Too many people these days classify themselves as Bisexual. Just pick a fucking sex, and get on with it. Do you know how confusing it would be if............ Jeff loved Jane. Jeff married Jane. Jane said she loved men, but after 10 years of marriage, Jane decides she loves Paula. Paula has always been a lesbian, but after being with Jane for 2 years, meets Steve. So now Paula and Steve are together, leaving jane in the dust. Jane meet Emma, and Emma is married to a man. How fucked up. But it happens. are YOU watching American Idol?

Billy Bob & co.

Today is Tuesday. Each Tuesday, i'm going to try to tell you yet another horrible neighbor story.

Billy Bob and his older wife, (48, 52) have 2 teenage children. They are trying to best they can, but it's not good enough in most ppl's eyes. Dr. Phil has written about his terrible children, and the biggest affliction they suffer. not properly socialized.

Dr. Phil writes:

Children who are not properly socialized have problems in the world. Socialization is one of the most important jobs a family has. When the family fails to provide the healthy nurturing children need, the impact on their lives can cheat them out of the chance to be the best person they can be.

Billy Bob and his family have been here in my city for 1 year 3 months. They've had a beating, attempted rape claim, trespassing, loitering, littering, being too noisy, looking into ppl's windows from a distance, and up close, starting a fight, bothering neighbors dogs, throwing rocks at cars, and just being irritating since they moved in. There are very few rules, and they have a mother who is in her 50's, this will be her 2nd family, as she has 3 grown boys, and an alcoholic father. May God watch over this family. Til then, they keep giving me great material, as they are surely the modern day version of the Hatfields,or the typical trailer park family who moved to a small old duplex in the suburbs. The last time we heard from the girl, she told me her father was dying, yet less than 48 hours later i see him on his front porch. ! He has risen.

Golden Globe fashion disasters.

Man oh man. Let's start with Drew Barrymore not wearing a bra! girl, you are sagging baby. And someone tell Melanie Griffin that the tattoo on her arm does not make her look classy.........it looks like she just came from a trailer park in West Virginia. Money does not buy class. I'd like to be the one who dresses these stars. Tippi Hendren would be rolling in her grave. btw Tippi was the epitomy of class. Too bad she didn't pass it on to her daughter.

Dr. Phil wrote a statement that fits my neighbors. i'll share it with you later today. Have a great day, and if you are a woman with big floppy breasts, wear a fucking bra, please.

Where are my comments? I'm early for horrible neighbor Tuesday.

One of the blogs on my blog roll had 68 comments. 68! I would like 6. Anyway, i'm early on the horrible neighbor story. Do any of you out there have horrible neighbors? i do. They belong in a trailer park, but instead are renting a small house up the block and across the street from me. This family has been a nightmare since day 1. I finally realized their life is about drama. Here's how the scene went last Friday. It was approx. 7:45, and i was taking my 15 yr old to the gym. As we are pulling out of my driveway, an older brat from 2 blocks over has his pick up truck parked directly in front of my house, across the street. He is their friend.( the bratty kids of Billy Bob, whom i write about). Anyway, they nor the kid live in the house in which they were parked in front of. They could have parked a little closer to their own home, but as usual, wanted attention. The older brat says, " my Dad ( Billy Bob) had a heart attack." So, I just say, " i'm sorry. tell him to take care of himself, hope he feels better. ( This is Billy Bob's 3rd attack that i'm aware of. he's 48, and an alcoholic.) We felt sorry for her as she babbled on. " The doctors say he's dying". Well, we go on about our life, as we should, and low and behold on Sunday morning, i'm going out to the store, and I see the near death Billy Bob stepping out on the porch. WOW. did he make a miraculous recovery. I don't want him dead, just to move. Maybe Billy Bob needs a warmer climate. Maybe he needs a sponsor. Tune in soon for more neighbor stories. Who else out there has recovered from their heart attack in less than 48 hours?

What is trashier?

I was speaking to a friend of mine, single gal, in her late 30's......we'll call her Miss X. She and I were discussing meeting men. Before I got married, I used to meet young men all over the place. She says it's trashy to meet a man at a gas station. I want to know....what's trashier....Meeting a man at a gas station or dating a married man who is not going to leave his wife ( which she does). ?

you decide. And tomorrow is Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. Great man. He is truly missed.

What ever Happened to Whitney Houston?

1. if you post a comment to this blog, please make sure i can post back. I'm like that. I want to express myself to you.......... : )

heido ho. It's Friday. Friday the 13th. I don't believe it's a bad luck day, because my youngest son was born on Friday the 13th.

I was in 7-eleven yesterday and a man, who was about 30....came up to the cashier and I, pointed to a picture of Whitney Houston in the tabloids, and asked: Is THAT Whitney Houston? I replied, " yes. Just watch being Bobby Brown, and you'll see." That woman has gone downhill. She acts like she has no class.

Whitney. Whitney. I'm going to watch " Being Bobby Brown" and give you a play by play.

Do you have your SIRIUS satellite radio yet? Howard is doing pretty well. He had Jessica Hahn on the radio program today,and she was telling women how to give a proper BJ.

How entertaining. She's come a long way from a shy church secretary.

Have YOU watched Being Bobby Brown?

Who set him up THIS time?

former DC mayor and now city councilman Marion Barry tested positive in the fall for cocaine use. Is anyone shocked? Back when he was mayor, he was caught cheating on his wife and smoking either cocaine or crack... this man is chemically dependent. bottom line. he should resign from the council and check himself into rehab. And he needs to spend more than 30 days there. Barry claimed he was set up ( yes, it was a sting, but let's face it....he was the biggest coked out mayor around) One can only feel sorry for all his wives/ex wives and the city of Washington D.C. like the old saying goes..........Councilman Barry is taking care of the cocaine problem in the city......one gram at a time.

He's lucky he's still alive after all the drugs he's probably done. !

Where's Grandma?

She's dead, but she's upstairs in front of the TV. A true story of a 61 yr old woman who didn't want to be buried. She's been dead since 2003, and they kept her in a room with the A/C on. How morbid. here's the link: AOL News - Woman Dead Since 2003 Left Sitting at TV gives a new meaning to...missing your loved ones. If you have sirius radio, check out Bubba the love sponge, 4 p.m. eastern on Channel Howard 101. Bubba is a bit younger than i am, a redneck, but crude and funny. It's interesting to hear his take on things. wonder what this guy looks like????????

a Chickenpox party?

i always said i'd post about kids. here's one post. A group of ridiculous parents are refusing to give their children the chicken pox vaccine. They feel the children should get chickenpox, and get over it. I have to agree with Dr.'s not just because they are doctors. Each child's chicken pox case is different. My older two have had the chicken pox. They had mild cases.....but I've seen adults get it because their first case as a child was mild. Adults can get VERY ill with the chicken pox. It's just not good practice to expose your sick child to others. Rule number 248 for these " new age" parents.......when your child is sick, keep him/her home and away from my child and everyone else's. I'm sorry your child will be " bored", but that's one of the social skills we all must learn. Spending " alone" time. Always surrounding your children with friends, and never encouraging them to " read" or have quiet time isn't good. The child will grow up to depend on people and people's opinions. It's time to be a responsible parent and keep that sick child home. Why don't parents need to take tests before having children????????

Howard is coming... tomorrow

1-9-06 Howard is coming. Do YOU have your sirius satellite radio yet? I tuned in today to hear an eerie sound, like some creature is going to sneak up on you........and after about 10 minutes, a few farts. lol. We'll have to see how Howard does his 1st day. Sorry, but I won't be tuning in at 6 a.m......that's too early for me. It will be before work/on the way to work. Have a great week all!

Jon Stewart the new King of all media?

Maybe if you are on crack. Jon Stewart isn't even half as funny as Howard. Howard is naturally funny. The only think Jon Stewart is growing ( he thinks he's growing a wider audience) is gray hair. Jon only wishes he was the king of anything. He's just a mildly funny guy like Conan O Brien. Howard is coming to sirius in 3 days. Have you bought your sirius yet? I have one question for Howard. If he programs his own show........why still get up at the crack of dawn and have the 6-11 slot? I would have the 10-2 and run the best of during the 5-8 slot where ppl can listen on the drive home. Go Howard!

Howard Stern is coming.......in 6 days.

Do you have sirius yet? This Howard all the time thing is exhausting. Let's get on with the show. My Sirius plug in for my van was only 49.99. Pick yours up today. There will be a full rap up on Howard's first day, next monday.......for the few people that may read this blog.


Howard is coming. Yay!

now THAT's desperate

man admits having sex with calves. caution AC link. Can't he just use his hand?

My Way News

today is horrible neighbor day. Do YOU have a horrible neighbor story? i'll give you a tidbit, and tell some more tomorrow. My alchoholic neighbor told my husband yesterday, " I got loaded last night". What else is new? New Years is like a pass for for Alcholics to drink. What is their reason for the other 364 days? He may as well have said he put another nail on the coffin.

Neighbors! what are you going to do?!

Howard Stern link

This website has adult content, but check out this link.

StrangeLand 5.0 - Support Howard on Sirius! (Download) - Funny movies, flash cartoons, funny pictures, jokes, prank phone cal...


awesome. I know Howard won't disappoint. I wonder what rapper 50 cent will be like uncensored............or do i even have to wonder?

Caution: Adult content not safe for work or kids.
peace.