That poor wife!

This is a joke from Gibbleguts humor:


Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, " at the end of Eucalyputus Drive". The operator then asked, " Can you spell that?" there was a long pause, and Bubba replied, " How bout if I drag her to Oak Street and you can pick her up there?"

!

It's Monday. I don't have a theme for Monday, but as promised tomorrow is horrible neighbor day, and i'm going to tell you about used condons left on the porch. ! Have a great day!

No Booze at the wedding?

I know it's Sunday, not Tuesday, horrible neighbor day--but yesterday Billy Bob had to stop and chat for a few seconds. It seems he was attending a wedding that was to be non-alcoholic. He was very upset, and told us he wouldn't be having a very good time. I think they are doing him a favor. Billy Bob is a 48 yr old alcoholic. He does have a job, works almost every day, but begged my husband once for a job. He works for his step-son. After work, he's always seen with a beer in his hand, and despite his doctor's warnings, continues to drink. Does everything have to revolve around booze?

Who wants a new drug?

ok ok I know my blog is all over the place--but that's what so cool. I blog about life, fat girls with the fat rolls hanging down past their jeans, my friend who caught crabs from her restaurant crush. Now, Huey Lewis sang about wanting a new drug--well, there's one out there. It's called "dippers" cigarettes dipped in PCP. And no, I don't think your local 7-11 sells them. If you've read past archives of this blog, you will know i'm against drugs. My husband and I both have drug addiction in our families, so I don't approve of any drugs. As per The Washington Post, two women from Alexandria went into SE Washington DC to score " dippers" and lost their lives because of it. A driver lost control of a car, and both women were killed. I'm so out of touch ( thank God) with the drug scene, but drugs are no good. If you can't have fun without them--well, you'll just end up in rehab or dead. Those are the only two options. Of the drug addicts in our families, and friends, we have about 8 of them that are dead so far. Some went into rehab and are doing o.k. As promised, even though this is Friday, later today i'll reveal the horrible neighbor story and used condoms on a porch. Have a wonderful weekend. Don't do drugs!

Fat is where it's at?

This morning, while I was getting gas. Boy, those hundred dollars bills are going to start showing up at gas stations, aren't they? with barely any change.

This morning I saw a young woman of about 23 wearing a belly shirt. She had a serious roll coming over the top of her jeans. Why do ppl leave the house like that? Is it the in thing to do to wear belly shirts when you are chubby?

i'm sure some men want to see that.....but I dont. and don't say don't look, because who could miss her?

Does she have a BIG BUTT?

Kids are cute, and I rarely post about my sons. Well, I take that back.........I suppose I do occasionally. This afternoon my 7 yr old was riding his scooter on the sidewalk, and after a few minutes, he came up to me. I was in the driveway, and had seen the woman he mentions walking by. He says: Mommy, this old lady ( she was approx. 30) came up to me and say move along, move it along. She had a BIG BUTT. I laughed, and thought first........she'd hate to hear she was an "old lady", and she did have a big butt. Kids are so funny.

What ever happened to dating?

so.........2 Duke university students have been arrested for kidnapping and raping a stripper. In my day, we went on dates. Well, i've seen their pictures. They would have had to kidnap and rape me too..i wouldn't go out with them. AOL News - Two Duke Athletes Arrested on Rape, Kidnapping Charges No means No and hell, can't you go to a bar and just find an ugly girl at closing time? it would save your reputation, jail time, embarrassment. Men that rape are pathetic. that screams out, " i can't get laid, i can't get laid" Good luck to those two boys, I hope they are innocent.

How do you get your Zzzzzzzzzz's?

I was in CVS today, and an elderly woman cashier was ringing up my purchase. She asked, "Do you have a CVS card?" I replied.....yes I do. I looked in my wallet, found it, and looked up and her eyes were closed. I prompted her. Miss? and she opened her eyes. Damn! napping at the cash register. She is probably 65 years old, if that. I want to go, shop, and get the hell out of there. Come to think of it, sometimes the younger workers aren't much better. How do you get your Zzzzzzzzz's??

Do YOU Wax?

I was speaking to a friend of mine, who has been the subject of many, many stories--It seems a younger man she knew when she was in college ( she was about 28, he was 19) years ago......came to see her. He's all grown up, 28, and living in California and working in the film industry. She told me he waxes his pubic hair and testicles. Is that gay? Do real men shave their private hair off? Who wants to be bothered? My husband says he may as well be a woman, but I wondered if that was gay. ? This young man swears he's straight........and it's really none of my business, but men are doing more and more things women do. !

Happy Easter! and stop eating all that candy........

o.k. by now you are raiding your kids Easter baskets? you'll tell them...i'll work it off. You'd have to spend 5 hours at the Gym working all that candy off. Happy Easter to everyone!

That must be one juicy Blog!

As per the Washington Post, a former gal who worked in the U.S. Senate, lost her job because of her blog. It seems it was sexy and scandalous. She named an "RS" , which to me.....should be enough to mask the man's name. A few hundred thousand ppl could be RS. And who is Robert Steinbuch anyway? Well, dear Robert didnt' like what this sex blogger, Miss Jessica had to write about him. Nevermind that RS could be anyone....he identified himself. He was humiliated and embarrassed. Damn....that makes me want to read the blog more. Well, Jessica is getting a book deal and a lawsuit. I hope she gets a good lawyer. It goes back to the old saying, Never kiss and tell. Maybe Jessica should do what I do and change the name altogether. Not that anyone cares about Coach Ryan being a bad coach, or my friend who caught crabs from her crush where she worked. But I think the initials should be enough....unless she provided enough details for people to guess who he really was. And what was so bad about him? impotent? tiny penis? i HAVE to find this blog..........<>

Where are all the Men?

The 28 yr old woman who spent six months in jail for having sex with her 13 yr old student is in trouble again. It seems she went on myspace.com ( note to 28 yr old Pamela--you are older than most on myspace) She was communicating with the teen boy. Damn, I have a 15 yr old, i'd better watch him on myspace. My question for Pamela is-- What is the attraction to young teen boys? Why don't you find a man? You are interested in children who's hobbies include playing video games, and hanging out with their male friends. Yes, they are interested in girls--but women? There is something wrong with a woman who would go after children. Lock her up and throw away the key--- I'm sure most moms would agree. link to this perverts story: AOL News - Ex-Teacher Arrested in Teen Sex Case

Don't get marital advice from HIM!

who? Eminem of course. He married his ex-wife again and it lasted for 3 months. Why not just shack up and get the milk for free?

If you listen to some ppl.......if it didnt' work the 1st time, what makes you think it will work the second?

With all the women in the world, and he's famous enough........he should be with a different woman every 3 months anyway. Look at Warren Beatty, he played the hot stud for 49 years........................


Everyone have a Happy Easter. I don't think I'll be eating too much candy. I'm not 12 anymore.

Pullin a brotha over.........

I read an article in the Washington Post about a man who just happens to be black, getting pulled over by Montgomery County Police officers.

First of all.....it's approx. 1:40 a.m. 2nd he's driving a car with a suspended registration (not his car) 3rd He is so appalled about being pulled over ( he owns 2 restaurants, and is 36) , he refuses to give the police his drivers license.

Big mistake. I've been pulled over at least 20 X for speeding, running stop sign, running red light, etc.
I have NEVER refused to give the officer my license.

The man is taking the officers to court. I hope they win. Certain ppl in life just need to realize their shit DOES stink like everyone else's. The NERVE of some ppl.

A dream.......crushed?

Everyone has a dream. So did a man my husband and I met recently. My husband is trying to get a team together for county baseball. We met Ryan, 52, also a coach. Here's Ryan's story.



His older son, who is now 25, was a great baseball player. He played county ball, on a Cal Ripken league for a few years, coached by Coach Moon. Now Coach Moon has been around a long time. He's probably 57. He helps coach the local High school's varsity football team, and has been coaching a Cal Ripken league, among a few other county leagues for years. He decides to give Coach Ryan a chance with one of his County teams. Now Ryan's been around, and now his younger son, Karl, is 14 and is an adequate player. Ryan has help from some other Dad/Coaches and has a losing season a few years ago. Rumors fly from the players, a few players walk off the field and decide to play for Coach Moon. He's not happy, so after the season is over, Coach Moon tells Coach Ryan he won't be coaching any more of his teams.

I know.....Coach Ryan should suck it up...........but now he's assisting another coach, and most ppl don't know he used to be a head coach. This man is just like my husband--he loves baseball. I just felt sorry for him when i heard the story. A dream.....crushed.
Here's a funny link for all..........have a wonderful Tuesday. I know it's horrible neighbor day--tune in later today when i post a story about my neighbor's son-------- and used condoms. Dont miss it!!!!

RedneckWoman

Tom Cruise wants to know...........

" What is normal anyway?" hmmmm. well Tom, I doubt anyone is looking to you to define normal.

Tom wants everyone to know he's happy. I'm happy today too Tom. And i'm not married to a 25 yr old! I've got news for Tom: most men would be happy married to a young woman 16 years their junior.

But jumping up and down on Oprah's couch like a school boy? I think Tom is having a Mid-life Crisis.

Tom.....let's do some Math. When your child is in kindergarden, you'll be 48. When your child starts high school, you'll be 57. The "old" dad. I want to see how happy you claim to be then. You'll have 2 older children, grandchildren, and a teenage child to raise. And your young bride will be 41. exactly my age. Unless she has some botox treatments or a face-lift she will look older. Let's see if you are jumping up and down on anyone's couch then! !

Tom should just go buy a corvette and tape some duct tape to his mouth.

108 comments? Damn

About a week ago, I discovered a new blog.....called New York Hack about a taxi driver in Ny. check it out............New York Hack One day I want to be just like him and have friggin 108 comments.

Waaaaaaaaa!

Something to remember your DATE by.........

This is an amusing story. I have a friend. We'll call her Katie. Back when she was in her early 20's.......she had a crush on a fellow co-worker at the restaurant where she worked. She said the guy seemed harmless enough, but he was really a dirty guy. I believe that Katie wasn't sleeping with anyone else at the time, because although she is not the most morally sound woman, she only dates 1 loser at a time. Anyway, Katie went out with this guy and slept with him. About 3 days later, ( she tells me) she noticed gray spots on her private area, around her pubic hair. She was curious as to what it was......then the next day.....she was horrified. ( She told me this story years ago, about 5 years after it happened). She was so embarrassed. There were little crabs crawling around in her pubic hair. She went to the Dr. and got cream, i think. The next day she confronted the nasty young man, and he denied it. That's just the sickest thing someone could do....is to spread that around. Katie didnt' sleep with anyone else for a while, and like i said, was so embarrassed she didnt' tell me until years later. I suppose, to some, it's just an average weekend. If that were me...i'd seek revenge.

Check out naked boy Chronicles

He has the best naked/half naked pics. This guy looks yummy.

Naked Boy Chronicles well, on with my day.

Finding a thief a job

My husband and I frequently get food from the local deli. It's owned by a very nice Korean woman. She told my husband a story yesterday I thought I would share. She had a woman in her mid 30's working for her for a few years. She said over a period of a few months she noticed money missing. It's a very small Deli, and she really doesn't make that much money, and she said she carefully counts the money/goes over receipts each evening. She fired the thief. ( she only had 1 woman working for her). She felt sorry for the woman, so her sister offered to help the woman find a job with the government. Her sister pulled some strings, and the woman started taking classes. She finished all the classes and was ready to start her 45,000.00 a year job. That's good money for someone with hardly any education and is a thief. She failed to do one thing. The notice came for her to go back. then, it came again. She had lost the job, over one thing.

drug test.

The Deli owner said she knew the woman was on drugs. It's a shame too. But, I believe it's a good thing she fired her when she did....things could have been worse, she could have stolen more money instead of just skimming off the top.

THe Maryland ladies got it done!

Congradulations to the Univ of Md. ladies basketball team. Go girls! The young men couldn't get it done, and the ladies won. Poor Duke! I have to say I have not seen many 6'7" ladies. I would look like a 10 yr old next to her. I don't usually watch basketball--men or women, but the game against Duke was great!

Happy Hump day!

What sports do you watch???

Is anyone else sick of these Cochran Group commercials with Johnny Cochran advertised even though he's 6 feet under???